Satisfying in a frustrating way, if that makes sense? I kind of felt like you were starring in a Mae West movie and I was an early-career Cary Grant just trying to keep up. Maybe next time we can sit one inch closer on your couch and see how that feels.
Speaking of the movies, this is kind of us now, isn’t it? You can be Jude Law because you’re hotter, and I’ll be Clive Owen since out of the two of us I think I’m more likely to shepherd a young woman through dystopian England. […] I’ve never actually watched Closer, so if I just accused you of something unspeakable by making you Jude Law, my bad.
Cast yourself as Captain Cumming, have you? You do seem the type to go a little method, what with the Daniel Day Lewis earrings and all. You more than kept up though. But I guess now we know that you’ll need to be a little bit closer next time to read exactly what you do to me.
God, this movie sounds terrible. How about I’ll be Jude Law and you can be Matt Damon in Talented Mr. Ripley? Because I find it both charming and a little terrifying that you want to know everything about me.
This is the second time you've brought up my earrings. Should I bring them back? Or will that clog up the experiment with too many variables? I know generally, you need some sort of control when you do these things.
I guess, but I kill an awful lot of people in this one. What if we say we're them and call it even? Also, really funny that's the thing you think is terrifying about me. I hope you're joking, Annie. You're a hot super genius who I'm pretty sure has never been left speechless in her entire life. I think it'd be more terrifying if someone was like, "Oh well, who cares" about you. If I stop laughing at the way you tilt your head when you let loose with a quip, that's how you'll know I've been replaced or something is seriously wrong.
I actually don't know if seeing you rock a pair of little silver hoops would do anything for me. I just like the idea of straddling your chest and holding an ice cube to your ear while you take deep breaths.
Alright, deal. I find it narratively satisfying to have made the leap from peering through your window Colin to clinging to my big, strong man Colin. Are some of our past arguments beginning to make more sense?
I wasn't joking exactly. Being hyperbolic maybe. Don't you find the idea of being known completely a little scary? I think you must, otherwise what are we doing sitting on opposite sides of the couch? That doesn't mean I'm not willing to let you see the parts of me that are ugly and super stupid. Just that I'd prefer it if they don't come up while you're on top of me.
We can do that, we should do that. [...] But if I'm allowed to make an observation, I think you don't actually like to be in control all the time? I think you get a little exhausted from being right (and you usually are), and watching for everything and thinking about not only your problems but everyone else's, too. [...] The corollary to feeling safe in the hands of someone who is a little out of control is feeling certain that they'll take care of you completely. [...] Did I get that right or wrong?
They are. I'd just convinced myself that we could only be with each other in a certain way. I'm sorry I'm so stubborn.
[...] I know what you mean. I guess all I'll say is that you might be underestimating how I think and feel about you, which is normal when you've just started to see someone, isn't it? And I know it seems easy for me to just say that, especially given my powers. I think [...] when we get to that point, you'll see that you don't have much to worry about. And anyway, you know that Kevin guy I told you about? He started thinking about his sneaker import/export business while we were doing it, and it actually got him going even more. Kind of jarring. So as long as you don't start thinking of that, we're good.
You're right that I don't like to be in control all the time, but I think you're misjudging why that is or what it might look like for me to relinquish some of that control. Believe me, I do enjoy it when you take care of me. It feels good to be looked after and you're probably right that I'm worn a little thin, but what I like most about it is knowing that you derive satisfaction from being good to me. I'm a lot less self-possessed than you think I am. That's not to say I'm playing a part or anything, I actually do want to jab a needle through your ear.
It's okay. I like that you have convictions, even if they caused me, personally, to suffer.
[...] NOT to be competitive about everything always all the time, but I think YOU might be the one underestimating my feelings if you're holding me and Neck Tat Kevin (who I will flick directly in the eye ball if I ever come across him) in the same mental space.
Hah. You know I really hate getting anything wrong about you? It feels like a competitive thing, but I don’t know who I’m competing against. Are you going to tell me how I’m wrong, or should I run some experiments of my own? Actually don’t tell me, let me figure it out. It’s not the same. And I’m not kidding when I say we should do that. I also am into feeling safe in the hands of someone who is a little out of control, except I don’t want to feel 100% safe. […] 🙂
And I like that you cause me to abandon my convictions. But only some.
No, sorry, I kind of just wanted to see if that would mess with you. […] Not to be a freak, but sometimes I get a little bothered that you had a previous workplace romance with another Joshua. Which in my defense I think is fine, jealousy makes things a little fun. But if he shows up, I will also flick him directly in the eyeball, for having my fucking name.
God, I love it when I'm scrolling through a message from you and thinking like a millisecond ahead, "Oh, I hope he says this. And I hope he says this next. What if, just for fun, he says something a little freaky and a little jealous next?" And then you do! It makes my brain feel like 🔊C# 🔊C# 🔊C#
So, yes. Please run some experiments on me. I promise to make it very apparent when you've got it right. You can test out some theories on me tonight, if you want. While I stab you 😘
It did! Mess with me, I mean. Before I make any more admissions and ruin the vibe of our piercing party, can I ask what you find fun about getting a little jealous?
Edited (IC link hidden in this #Cs) Date: 2023-08-01 03:08 am (UTC)
And I love it when my messages make you think of dancehall air horn blasts, not blocking me immediately.
Hmmmm, I don't know, Annie. We made it this far without compromising ourselves. I think I may have to put my 🦶 down and insist you marry me before I let you have access to my 👂. I'm not so easily taken by big sexy bugs. But I'm down to run some couch experiments if you're in the mood to be experimented on. We didn't get to finish our conversation about your coxae when you're in bug form. 😇
[...] So, I'll preface by saying I don't actually enjoy the idea of you feeling jealous about people I used to be with. Neck Tat Kevin is a special case because I'm pretty confident you know I think he's a joke. But otherwise, it'll feel like I've done something wrong if you're at all wondering whether I'm thinking about anyone else. On my part, I guess [...] I kind of like the idea of feeling like I have something to prove to you, that I'm better? That probably makes me a little 🚩 🚩 🚩 🇹 🇴 🇽 🇮 🇨 🚩 🚩 🚩
This is such EDWARD CULLEN BEHAVIOR!!! You know, the whole Bugfucker thing used to stress me out so bad. Not because I thought it was embarrassing or socially graceless or anything. I think it's funny. Just because I had no idea if we were pretending to touch behind closed doors or pretending to be born again virgins, but I was too afraid to ask.
Okay, thank you. It's only fair that you know, I am a little prone to jealousy. Well, extremely prone. It's not my favorite thing about myself. I'm not going to key someone's car for talking to you or anything bonkers like that, but I can be possessive. I know that's big red flag and not a cute one like my perfect bite.
Anyway, you are better than other Joshua. But you should come up here and prove it.
Then was I the only person who actually enjoyed the Bugfucker thing? I thought it was socially graceless and that's why I stuck to it for so long. Nobody gets to call themselves Humanfuckers without being put on some sort of a list, but I was just waiting for someone to make a snide comment so I could be like, "How dare you try to shame me for loving my Bugwife!!!" Anyway, I think people think we fuck, so maybe we should really throw everyone for a loop and reveal we haven't at another themed party. Or not. I'm not coming up with good ideas right now because you kind of cooked my brain (positive) when you said you'd for sure straddle my chest and stab me in the ear.
If you can channel that possessiveness into other red flag behaviors, that would be very sexy and dope of you.
[...] I think I actually do need to come upstairs before I message you anything worse. Sorry to Amy Klobuchar, who is reading this right now. Please be kind to your transcription intern. I'll see you in less than three minutes, Annie. 2 minutes 49 seconds exactly, and you can time me. If I fail then stab me in the other ear.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
DM, 7/30
Date: 2023-07-31 05:51 am (UTC)Very fun. […] And unexpectedly satisfying. Was it for you? More satisfying than frustrating?
DM, 7/30
Date: 2023-07-31 06:26 am (UTC)Speaking of the movies, this is kind of us now, isn’t it? You can be Jude Law because you’re hotter, and I’ll be Clive Owen since out of the two of us I think I’m more likely to shepherd a young woman through dystopian England. […] I’ve never actually watched Closer, so if I just accused you of something unspeakable by making you Jude Law, my bad.
DM, 7/30
Date: 2023-07-31 07:07 am (UTC)God, this movie sounds terrible. How about I’ll be Jude Law and you can be Matt Damon in Talented Mr. Ripley? Because I find it both charming and a little terrifying that you want to know everything about me.
DM, 7/30
Date: 2023-07-31 07:38 am (UTC)I guess, but I kill an awful lot of people in this one. What if we say we're them and call it even? Also, really funny that's the thing you think is terrifying about me. I hope you're joking, Annie. You're a hot super genius who I'm pretty sure has never been left speechless in her entire life. I think it'd be more terrifying if someone was like, "Oh well, who cares" about you. If I stop laughing at the way you tilt your head when you let loose with a quip, that's how you'll know I've been replaced or something is seriously wrong.
DM, 7/30
Date: 2023-07-31 04:56 pm (UTC)Alright, deal. I find it narratively satisfying to have made the leap from peering through your window Colin to clinging to my big, strong man Colin. Are some of our past arguments beginning to make more sense?
I wasn't joking exactly. Being hyperbolic maybe. Don't you find the idea of being known completely a little scary? I think you must, otherwise what are we doing sitting on opposite sides of the couch? That doesn't mean I'm not willing to let you see the parts of me that are ugly and super stupid. Just that I'd prefer it if they don't come up while you're on top of me.
DM, 7/30
Date: 2023-07-31 06:31 pm (UTC)They are. I'd just convinced myself that we could only be with each other in a certain way. I'm sorry I'm so stubborn.
[...] I know what you mean. I guess all I'll say is that you might be underestimating how I think and feel about you, which is normal when you've just started to see someone, isn't it? And I know it seems easy for me to just say that, especially given my powers. I think [...] when we get to that point, you'll see that you don't have much to worry about. And anyway, you know that Kevin guy I told you about? He started thinking about his sneaker import/export business while we were doing it, and it actually got him going even more. Kind of jarring. So as long as you don't start thinking of that, we're good.
DM, 7/30
Date: 2023-08-01 01:28 am (UTC)It's okay. I like that you have convictions, even if they caused me, personally, to suffer.
[...] NOT to be competitive about everything always all the time, but I think YOU might be the one underestimating my feelings if you're holding me and Neck Tat Kevin (who I will flick directly in the eye ball if I ever come across him) in the same mental space.
DM, 7/30
Date: 2023-08-01 02:26 am (UTC)And I like that you cause me to abandon my convictions. But only some.
No, sorry, I kind of just wanted to see if that would mess with you. […] Not to be a freak, but sometimes I get a little bothered that you had a previous workplace romance with another Joshua. Which in my defense I think is fine, jealousy makes things a little fun. But if he shows up, I will also flick him directly in the eyeball, for having my fucking name.
DM, 7/30
Date: 2023-08-01 03:06 am (UTC)So, yes. Please run some experiments on me. I promise to make it very apparent when you've got it right. You can test out some theories on me tonight, if you want. While I stab you 😘
It did! Mess with me, I mean. Before I make any more admissions and ruin the vibe of our piercing party, can I ask what you find fun about getting a little jealous?
DM, 7/30
Date: 2023-08-01 03:42 am (UTC)Hmmmm, I don't know, Annie. We made it this far without compromising ourselves. I think I may have to put my 🦶 down and insist you marry me before I let you have access to my 👂. I'm not so easily taken by big sexy bugs. But I'm down to run some couch experiments if you're in the mood to be experimented on. We didn't get to finish our conversation about your coxae when you're in bug form. 😇
[...] So, I'll preface by saying I don't actually enjoy the idea of you feeling jealous about people I used to be with. Neck Tat Kevin is a special case because I'm pretty confident you know I think he's a joke. But otherwise, it'll feel like I've done something wrong if you're at all wondering whether I'm thinking about anyone else. On my part, I guess [...] I kind of like the idea of feeling like I have something to prove to you, that I'm better? That probably makes me a little 🚩 🚩 🚩 🇹 🇴 🇽 🇮 🇨 🚩 🚩 🚩
DM, 7/30
Date: 2023-08-01 05:11 am (UTC)Okay, thank you. It's only fair that you know, I am a little prone to jealousy. Well, extremely prone. It's not my favorite thing about myself. I'm not going to key someone's car for talking to you or anything bonkers like that, but I can be possessive. I know that's big red flag and not a cute one like my perfect bite.
Anyway, you are better than other Joshua. But you should come up here and prove it.
DM, 7/30
Date: 2023-08-01 05:22 am (UTC)If you can channel that possessiveness into other red flag behaviors, that would be very sexy and dope of you.
[...] I think I actually do need to come upstairs before I message you anything worse. Sorry to Amy Klobuchar, who is reading this right now. Please be kind to your transcription intern. I'll see you in less than three minutes, Annie. 2 minutes 49 seconds exactly, and you can time me. If I fail then stab me in the other ear.
DM, 7/30
Date: 2023-08-01 06:55 am (UTC)