It’s my best option because if that’s just a temporary want on your end, […] eight years is a long time. It feels safer if I can be a kind permanent nobody to you, as opposed to if I was somebody once, but not anymore. […] Do you get what I mean?
But you’ve been clear. I don’t always believe it, but I know what you want. All those little things like asking for my measurements and sharing a straw? […] I like it, too.
I guess I get what you mean. You already are somebody to me though. But if this is as far as you feel safe letting me in, then this is all I'll ask for. I can be contented playing pretend with you, if that's what you want. As long as we can both acknowledge that you're making me fall for you on purpose.
"On purpose?" But that’s not true? When you put it that way, you make me sound like some puppet master trying to fuck with your head. That’s such a you thing to think, though, it’d be funny if it wasn’t so frustrating. Doing things that make you happy just feels really good. That’s it. There’s nothing ulterior about it.
Annie. That thing I said, about me feeling crazy? You know you do it, don’t you? And you get a kick out of it. You can’t act like it’s just me doing all this, trying to fuck with your head.
Jesus, Annie. […] It could get complicated, seeing the person you’re engaged to. […] Whatever happens I just want to be clear that, if we give wanting things a try, I’m not backing down from everything we said we’d do. So don’t worry about that. […] Or do, I don’t know.
I've never worried that you'd back out. And it already is complicated, isn't it? I can be good and stop putting ideas in your head on purpose, but I'm not willing to be cold toward you. And I wouldn't believe you if you were cold to me.
It’s honestly a little alarming you think I’m capable of acting cold to you. I’ll have to fix that. But don’t be good, Annie.
I like saying it. […] Though it may sound better in person. […] Should we find out? You’re the researcher, you structure the experiment and I’ll assist.
If being in my head gets too much, you can just tell me and I promise I won’t be hurt or offended or anything like that. Just please tell me to my face. I don’t think I have it in me for another person to
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
DM, 7/28 evening [an hour later]
Date: 2023-07-30 06:45 am (UTC)But you’ve been clear. I don’t always believe it, but I know what you want. All those little things like asking for my measurements and sharing a straw? […] I like it, too.
DM, 7/28 evening [an hour later]
Date: 2023-07-30 07:01 am (UTC)DM, 7/28 evening [an hour later]
Date: 2023-07-30 02:57 pm (UTC)"On purpose?" But that’s not true? When you put it that way, you make me sound like some puppet master trying to fuck with your head. That’s such a you thing to think, though, it’d be funny if it wasn’t so frustrating. Doing things that make you happy just feels really good. That’s it. There’s nothing ulterior about it.[…]
What do you mean “fall for you?”
DM, 7/28 evening [an hour later]
Date: 2023-07-30 03:40 pm (UTC)DM, 7/28 evening [an hour later]
Date: 2023-07-30 04:36 pm (UTC)[…] But I’m not saying to stop.
DM, 7/28 evening [an hour later]
Date: 2023-07-30 05:07 pm (UTC)DM, 7/28 evening [an hour later]
Date: 2023-07-30 05:21 pm (UTC)Whatever happensI just want to be clear that, if we give wanting things a try, I’m not backing down from everything we said we’d do. So don’t worry about that. […] Or do, I don’t know.DM, 7/28 evening [an hour later]
Date: 2023-07-30 05:52 pm (UTC)[...] I like how you keep saying my name.
DM, 7/28 evening [an hour later]
Date: 2023-07-30 06:51 pm (UTC)I like saying it. […] Though it may sound better in person. […] Should we find out? You’re the researcher, you structure the experiment and I’ll assist.
DM, 7/28 evening [an hour later]
Date: 2023-07-30 08:14 pm (UTC)DM, 7/28 evening [an hour later]
Date: 2023-07-30 08:57 pm (UTC)If being in my head gets too much, you can just tell me and I promise I won’t be hurt or offended or anything like that. Just please tell me to my face. I don’t think I have it in me for another person toDM, 7/28 evening [an hour later]
Date: 2023-07-30 08:57 pm (UTC)DM, 7/28 evening [an hour later]
Date: 2023-07-30 08:59 pm (UTC)I’ll be there, Annie.
DM, 7/28 evening [an hour later]
Date: 2023-07-30 09:20 pm (UTC)