philomathean | IC SPAM

Lol, you really are soaring right over my expectations.

Alright, I won't go all Minority Report on her. I mean, whomst among us hasn't daydreamed about doing something dangerous and daring for the righteous glory? Evan's never on the watch schedule alone, so it should be fine.

[...] So, these little mind links you've been having. Are they one way or...?

Who indeed? And who has ever acted on those kinds of daydreams? Not us. […] In addition to being “mean and popular,” are we hypocrites? Lol.

[…] Likely two-way. […] But I was thinking about something that was solely personally damaging when I ran into Evan, so don’t sweat it. In fact, I’ve only ever been thinking about things that might bite me in the ass. Not you.

Oh, definitely. But our thing was cool and based on overwhelming scientific data. [...] Lol.

That's convenient. It doesn't make me happy to hear though. Let's keep that ass unbitten. Should I just be vaguely threatening on the net? Create a real culture of silence on all Jack related topics.

We'll just say our situation is "nuanced."

And no. Definitely don't do that. That just makes both of us look suspicious. [...] Anyway, once we're married it won't matter if people suspect me of anything. So just sit tight. I got a little sidetracked by everything that's happened since the end of April, but we'll be in the clear soon.

Me too. I'd forgotten how high-octane life at the station can be. [...] I'm sorry that it's been overwhelming. ~~I didn't expect that you would become so integrated~~ [...] I don't know what I expected.

How can I help?

Oh, you don't do anything. ~~I figured your proposal should be as nice as possible, since you won't get an actual one you're excited about for at least the next eight years.~~ This next part is for you.

If you’re sure.

Can I please get you a suit, at least?

I'm sure.

[...] And sure. Although if you get me a pastel blue leisure suit I will be a little uncomfortably thrown.

Really? You don't like this?

With a tasteful 'No Biting ⬇' temporary tattoo?

sdi23qfg

[...] I opened that DM while I was holding a jar of achaar and now I have pickled mango all over my floor.

I mean if that's what you want. I don't back down from shit. Try me.

Noooo, not the achaar! I'm too funny. I don't know the strength of my own goofs. I'm so sorry.

I 💯% believe you would commit to the bit, but no thank you. It's a gift. I'll get whatever you like.

Goofed too hard and now I’ve paid the price…

I’m gonna be real, I don’t know anything about suits other than: 1) don’t look like David Byrne in Stop Making Sense and 2) don’t look like Pee-wee Herman ever. If you tell me to get whatever I’m going to go to the Men’s Wearhouse in Albany and try to find something under $300, if that’s okay.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'll make you more.

Never mind! I have taken your 'do not wants' into consideration and I will handle it. Something simple, classic. Probably black. You look good in black.

You're good. I'm just mad I got got.

Okay, I trust you. And if you do end up deciding you want a Talking Heads-themed wedding, I'm ready:

Is this my punishment for calling you Doritoboy?

This is still Dorito-shaped, just flipped upside down.

The Devil's Dorito.

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