philomathean | IC SPAM

🤐

[…]

Can I say one mean thing? (About you)

Oh boy. Go ahead.

You’re giving off major Edward Cullen vibes right now lmao.

I give you a sincere answer to the extent I’m essentially mentally naked and you Twilight me? If your goal was to ensure I never looked you in the eye again, congratulations.

Well whatever. Great. Always happy to amuse.

Cannot, and actually will not, believe that this is your step too far. […] We’ve been way more mentally naked in front of each other. Flayed, even!.

And anyway, I think you like to amuse me.

[…] I do […] but this was like getting dropkicked into a glacial lake. Like I’m in permanent unserious guy status now. […] But actually maybe I needed that. Now I can wear my little jester hat without issue. 🤡

Anyway, to go back to what we were talking about before, you’re on Taby’s top ten hottest people list. So maybe it’s not baseball to the headitis.

You absolutely do not have jester’s privilege with me, I’ll just say that.

Top 10? Not a particularly difficult list to make.

Then what am I?? Court knave?

And not particularly difficult? Double ow. I didn’t make the list. Jesus. I didn’t realize I signed up for ~~a feelings~~ an ego excoriation when I said I’d wait up for you.

Hand of the Queen, obviously.

Taby wasn’t going to list you while they were talking to YOU. Sometimes I can’t tell if you’re delusional or like the Kasparov of manipulating compliments out of me. […] Why do you care so much what Taby thinks?

That’s better, I can live with that.

~~????????¿¿¿¿¿¿¿?¿???¿ Mr. Sleepytime Bear knock me tf out get me out of here~~ Taby? Jump Off Tall Building Taby? Store Excess Kinetic Energy In Their Organs That Buzz Taby?? They definitely would tell me right to my face lmfao. I don’t care what Taby thinks, I’m just trying to relay you news you might find interesting. Don’t shoot the messenger, even if he has been 17 for a while.

That’s what I thought.

Well, maybe they just respect me more than they respect you because, let’s not forget!, you’re my boyfriend in the eyes of the public. So everyone can just keep their hotness opinions to themselves.

🫡 🦶 (<- Me showing feet as a sign of obeisance.)

Maybe. But like normal physics, I don’t think Taby follows the rules of social physics. […] Anyway that’s fine. Property of Annie Song. I am neither hot nor not hot because I am spoken for. Kind of freeing, actually.

~~I hate this too! In a different way!! This is a domestic (terrorism) partnership!!!~~

How’s your oven looking?

Very shiny, actually, and it didn’t take as long as I thought. Maybe I’ll clean out my fridge.

How are the moles? […] Evan is really upset about all that, you probably figured. […] I accidentally read her mind the other day. She wants to do something really drastic. I don’t think she will, but it was kind of alarming.

You're really committed to waiting up, huh?

They are unremarkable (sleeping). What is she thinking of doing? She better not try to free them. I am not prepared to stop a prison break right now.

Well yeah: 1) You have to walk back from the Research Building at 3AM, even though I know nothing will happen; and 2) Don’t you feel a little less tired about being awake at this time knowing someone else is awake with you?

[…] She had been thinking about that, but please don’t report her. I think she’s shifted gears to advocating for the moles. She doesn’t want to lose her job.

Aw, you want to make sure I get home safe. That's really sweet. (Now you say, "Your bar is so low, Annie." And I say, "Yes, I know. Please don't move it. I am practicing my limbo.") I do feel better. The awakest I've ever been, honestly.

So, you already spoke with her about it? I saw you jump in to try and talk her down on Isaiah's announcement post. Thank you, by the way. How confident are you that she won't try anything? I'm sorry, but these moles pose a real danger. Obviously, you know that.

"The bar is so low, Annie. Watch me do a long jump over it. PR 21 feet baybeeee. Oh no, don't limbo as I jump—aaaaAAAH."

I'm as confident as getting a three-second glimpse into her brainspace can make me. I don't really know Evan other than she cares about the moles a lot. I thought giving her some control over the situation would make her feel less helpless on their behalf. And I told her what she was thinking would be dangerous for the moles and everyone else. [...] I don't think she'll try anything now that Raine told her she can try to get the moles' consent for experimentation, but just so you have a heads up. Keep your antennae peeled, etc.

Lol, you really are soaring right over my expectations.

Alright, I won't go all Minority Report on her. I mean, whomst among us hasn't daydreamed about doing something dangerous and daring for the righteous glory? Evan's never on the watch schedule alone, so it should be fine.

[...] So, these little mind links you've been having. Are they one way or...?

Who indeed? And who has ever acted on those kinds of daydreams? Not us. […] In addition to being “mean and popular,” are we hypocrites? Lol.

[…] Likely two-way. […] But I was thinking about something that was solely personally damaging when I ran into Evan, so don’t sweat it. In fact, I’ve only ever been thinking about things that might bite me in the ass. Not you.

Oh, definitely. But our thing was cool and based on overwhelming scientific data. [...] Lol.

That's convenient. It doesn't make me happy to hear though. Let's keep that ass unbitten. Should I just be vaguely threatening on the net? Create a real culture of silence on all Jack related topics.

We'll just say our situation is "nuanced."

And no. Definitely don't do that. That just makes both of us look suspicious. [...] Anyway, once we're married it won't matter if people suspect me of anything. So just sit tight. I got a little sidetracked by everything that's happened since the end of April, but we'll be in the clear soon.

Me too. I'd forgotten how high-octane life at the station can be. [...] I'm sorry that it's been overwhelming. ~~I didn't expect that you would become so integrated~~ [...] I don't know what I expected.

How can I help?

Oh, you don't do anything. ~~I figured your proposal should be as nice as possible, since you won't get an actual one you're excited about for at least the next eight years.~~ This next part is for you.

If you’re sure.

Can I please get you a suit, at least?

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