philomathean | IC SPAM

[1] I did sort of wonder, considering your dating profile and all. Maybe that's perverse of me. I hope you find the person that it doesn't feel creepy with, and I know what you're going to say, but I don't want you to stop looking on my account.
[3] It is. I was mostly learning to dampen the external stimulus while I was at LBJEF. It's gotten a lot better with time but it can still be annoying. I'm not super sensitive, compared to some liminals. Basically anything that shakes the floor or [...] the furniture. I don't think I could tell if someone was tiptoeing in another room. It's not quite like enhanced hearing, although I can sometimes feel heavy snoring or a hard cough.
[4] I just thought it was lame for him to throw a chair after the Timberwolves were eliminated. But it also definitely wasn't an assault. I like it when all the players hug after the game. Sue me!

[1] You're okay. Some people have just straight up asked me in crass ways. There's sort of a sideshow curiosity aspect to it all, but idk. I figure we all deal with that as Liminals. [...] And if you know, why would you say it lol? Maybe I don't want to look anymore.
[3] Oh, well that's a relief. I don't think I'm doing anything that would trigger that? Other people though, that's an interesting thing to know about your neighbor. Haha.
[4] Leaning into the intense interpersonal bond, I see. That's why you need to be a Lakers fan. You get Bron collapsing to the floor, you really feel the pathos. When they were eliminated I hated it but I could also pretty much imagine all of them climbing into one huge bed together and crying themselves to sleep. Incredibly rich fan experience.

[1] Maybe it's my turn to be Rodion. But if that's really true, I won't bring it up again.
[3] No, you're a pretty easy neighbor. I can mostly just tell where you are in your apartment but not what you're doing or saying. Besides cooking. I can always tell when you're cooking. But my other neighbors are Isaiah, Parsons, and Lou. It could certainly be worse.
[4] I have an intense interpersonal bond with Jokic. I've gotten a lot of usage out of the 'I can't believe this is my life!' Lebron meme, and I really respect that, but the content for a Jokic fan is just unmatched. Maybe you'll convince me someday, but I don't know.

~~[1] Is it so unbelievable if I say I like this?~~

[1] I'm okay. If you get Rodion Raskolnikov guilt fever over me, I will divorce you and it will be acrimonious.
[2] Oh noooooo, my cooking vibrations, lol. Why is it distinct? Or actually don't answer that. Lou and Isaiah seem like they'd be okay—I feel like Lou tiptoes in his own house (which kind of sucks but what can you do) and Isaiah probably doesn't move much around because of his powers? Parson though. Lmfao. When we get a place I need to be on the opposite end of the building from him.
[4] Okay, Jokic is my son. Is he our son now? I can live with that. I'm happy to share. I think everyone should love him, every single fucking day.

Edited 2023-06-13 14:32 (UTC)

Anyway, all this talk about touching outside of medical settings has got me thinking... Are you alone? Don't open my next DMs if you're around people. 😉

Alone? Last chance...

R00d pic incoming... 😉

LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO one of my college friends commented on this old picture and brought it back up on Facebook. I'm 87% sure you're not actually into feet because I don't think you would have joked about feet and johnsons and LBJ at Raine's party if you were. [...] But in the 13% chance I'm wrong, this one's a freebie, I guess? Lol.

😳😩🥵

Wow. Good morning to me. ... do you have one with better resolution?

No. This is probably Android camera circa 2011. These are the best pixels you're going to get.

Anyway, actual good morning.

You know, a 13% chance is pretty high! What if an honest to God sext was the last thing you ever sent me before I went off to war with the moles? Eager to make sure I come home safe with all my important parts, so we don't end up like the Chatterleys, I guess.

Thirteen shmirteen. I love living dangerously, what can I say?

Now this is a little unfunny, because I distinctly remember you being all, "Oh brother, I wish everyone would stop acting like I'm about to do something dangerous!" right before your last field mission. And then immediately after that, you got attacked by 1950s B-horror movie creatures.

Alright, but I just hope you know that you've set 13% chance of inspiring genuine horniness as the acceptable threshold for going through with all future comedic bits.

Yeah, I sort of regret saying that. I was fine, if you recall. I feel bad that the danger came here to the station though. That's why we're going back out. We're not going to let that happen again.

13 is my lucky number. And if feet pics are what it takes to motivate you to not get eaten, exploded, dissolved, macerated, lacerated, or jellified, then call me Mr. WikiFeet.

Hm, maybe do not definitively assert that things won't happen if those things have over a 13% horniness threshold chance of occurring, lol.

You're right. I shouldn't make promises that are outside of my control to keep. But I do promise to be careful.

[...] Is there a creature that inspires a 13% chance of horniness in you that I should try to capture? A sort of Shape of Water situation. A mummy, maybe?

Not to rag on you, though. I don’t think you wouldn’t be careful. Just, you know, normal person-to-person worry.

I like how you jumped straight to creature lmfao. There’s a 13% chance I might just be a normal guy underneath it all. Although I have been trying to become more positive about bugs. Did you know roly-poly bugs take heavy metals out of the soil? If you catch me lunging randomly off the sidewalk, that’s because I’m trying not to step on those little guys.

No, I know. It's nice to be worried about. I just don't want you to stress.

That's actually really sweet. I mean, taking one step to the side to avoid killing a living thing for the crime of being small should be the standard for all humans, but I know that it's not. So, thank you. Anyway, what I'm picking up is that you're into Mothman. Which makes sense. He's the most cut of all the cryptids.

Consistent ambient stress levels of 13% keep me healthy.

Actually here you’re wrong. 1) Everybody is into Mothman, so I don’t want to be. 2) So what if he’s cut? Not into ultra-ripped bods. Almost anybody can get a great ass, that’s just weighted hip-thrusts and Russian deadlifts. He’s not special. What are we going to do, throw him a party? No.

A sexier monster would be the Alien Queen from Aliens. Hardworking single mom that spits acid. […] But now you don’t write that down as a Type Descriptor.

If you say so, Doc.

🧐 ✍️ ...

You are such a contrarian. Are you going to dump me if I become too popular?

Hm. No, I guess I’ll endure. But I reserve the right to be like “I knew Annie first” with a PBR, half-smoked American Spirit, and a pair of those thick-rimmed glasses everyone was into when we were in college. Maybe a mustache tattoo on the inside of my index finger or wrist, too.

Edited 2023-06-13 16:57 (UTC)

Don't forget the impossibly skinny jeans and shop-lifted American Apparel deep-v.

People keep asking me how I know you. I've been saying that we "reconnected recently." But should we shore that up a little?

[…] You know what? Fuck it. If you want to tell people I slid into your DMs with a foot pic, go for it.

[…] Actually as hilarious as that would be for me, I don’t want you to catch foot-related fallout. Why not a half-truth? Arguing about the ethics of non-violence in the DSA sub-forum lol. That’s kind of how it went down, anyway?

You don't have to protect me from the fallout of my own goofs. I actually think it would be funny to convince everyone I'm into feet. Kick-off a foot fetish trend. Really test the limits of my social cachet.

But, nah, you're right. DSA sub-forum makes sense, is close enough to the truth, and will inspire no further questions.

~~Be careful what you wish for, Annie.~~

I fell head over heels for you when you nonviolently handed my ass to me via a well-selected Judith Butler quote on interdependency. […] I actually did get so mad, I had to go on a jog around my neighborhood.

I pissed you off so badly that you had to go have calm down time? Now that's a sext.

But, lol, honestly it's not your fault. Beyond just being raised in the liberal individualist tradition, as we all were, the circumstances of your liminality have forced you to become a self-standing individual. More so than average. And mine have shown me just how interdependent we all are, in a way that's difficult to notice when you've only ever seen the world from the perspective of a towering apex predator. Plus, I'd read The Force of Nonviolence like two days prior. I'm sure I was just parroting.

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