IC SPAM

[philomathean]

unscreened. assume messages are private, unless otherwise noted.

Comments

dm [early morning 5/21]

[nolitangere]

So you've thought about what I said?

It's fine if you want to back out now that you know it's me. Just give me a heads-up so I can throw myself into the nearest Rift. Which, if that's actually how you planned things out, is really convenient.

[...]

*Throw myself into the nearest Rift for law-related purposes, not for rejection-related purposes.

dm [early morning 5/21]

[philomathean]

I've thought about it some.

If anything, I'm more on board now that I know it's you. You give off the impression that you'd stab me in the back for some half-hearted applause.

dm [early morning 5/21]

[nolitangere]

Wouldn't really need a knife, would I?

dm [early morning 5/21]

[nolitangere]

Sorry, really bad joke. [...] That doesn't even count as a joke.

Anyway, to reiterate, it'd be purely contractual. It's just a property arrangement, we've talked about this before. You could do whatever you wanted.

dm [early morning 5/21]

[philomathean]

Ha ha.

That really wouldn't bother you? Having people think your wife is stepping out on you?

dm [early morning 5/21]

[nolitangere]

Why would it matter if it bothered me?

I'd only need to know. It makes us look worse if it comes up and I seem surprised.

dm [early morning 5/21]

[philomathean]

Because I'm a good person? It's not my goal to humiliate you.

And I guess because it would matter to me. I know people get married for lots of reasons and swinging is back in vogue, but I don't want people to think I'm frigid.

dm [early morning 5/21]

[nolitangere]

Oh right. And when you say I seem like I'd backstab for some golf claps, you're just telling it like it is out of the goodness of your heart. [...] For the record, I've always taken this seriously, and I've always meant everything that I said.

[...]

I already told you you wouldn't have anything to worry about on my end if that's what you're worried about. Hands-free, remember?

dm [early morning 5/21]

[philomathean]

I'm sorry. I didn't really mean that. I just meant I wouldn't be surprised if you're questioning things now that you know the full story. I've never lied to you but I would understand if you had a hard time believing that.

[...]

Well, I do have questions about that. Maybe for another time. But that's not exactly what I meant. Can you at least pretend to like me in front of other people?

dm [early morning 5/21]

[nolitangere]

I believe you've never lied to me. It just [...] feels odd to look at you sometimes. Has anyone ever told you that?

Annie, I think for this to work I have to pretend to love you in front of other people. [...] The more realistically [...] normal we seem the less likely we'll be scrutinized for any reason. A friend from LA just started at Enodia too, and she already asked me why I left my old job. I have to make people believe I came here for you.

dm [early morning 5/21]

[philomathean]

Really? Would she have any way of knowing you’d be here? You don’t find that odd?

You did come here for me. […] I can make people believe, if you can.

dm [early morning 5/21]

[nolitangere]

No, Crysta and I never talk about anything important. You probably know more about me than she does. It’s just a coincidence but I’m just saying it’s safer if nobody questions us for any reason.

[…] Just be yourself. More people at the Station know you than they know me.

That was good you brought me that drink yesterday, by the way. I’ll just have to say I was tired from driving. Or maybe our story will be I’m kind of an asshole you just put up with.

dm [early morning 5/21]

[philomathean]

Lotta coincidences […] Crysta? That’s Enoch’s sister, right? She seems cool. Should I make her one of my bridesmaids?

Was it good? I was trying to be a brat but I actually really love firecracker popsicles. And push pops. And strawberry shortcake ice cream bars. Write that down.

And I wouldn’t worry about it. I don’t think it would surprise anyone to find out I’d fallen head over heels for someone who ignores me in public. That is not an invitation for pity, by the way. It’s just a fact.

dm [early morning 5/21]

[nolitangere]

Is a wedding necessary?

Committing this all to memory. […] Is this out of a general craving for Red 40 or something else?

And lol wow you really haven’t changed since high school.

dm [early morning 5/21]

[philomathean]

Yes. I have my limits. No one will believe I passed up the opportunity to wear a pretty dress and be the center of attention. I don't need bridesmaids though. That part was a joke. And we can say we said our vows in an intimate, private ceremony.

I guess I just want to be composed of the highest bug to human ratio possible. I'm like Spiders Georg for cochineal.

[...]

What's that supposed to mean?

dm [early morning 5/21]

[nolitangere]

I guess I’ll go method with this and go along with whatever you want to do. Just tell me where to stand.

Committing this to memory, too. Very eco-friendly of you to go for bug protein though, considering the emissions from the meat industry.

Idk, didn’t you have that thing with the guy with the messy chinstrap? I forget his name. But you always sat on the opposite side of the cafeteria from him and both you guys were in front of me. And sometimes you’d be looking at him like you were the Master and he was Margarita. And he’d be exploding his bag of chocolate milk. Was that something different?

dm [early morning 5/21]

[philomathean]

If you give me your measurements, I'll thrift you a suit and have it tailored.

Oh really? The meat industry is bad for the environment. What? Is it all the methane?

Okay, his name was Jeremy, for one. And for two, if we're being honest and accurate, I was the Margarita and he was the Master. (I did pick him up from police custody one time. He was only being detained, relax.) Three, those milk bags were hard to open. Most importantly, FOUR -- he had a deep voice and was good at basketball.

dm [early morning 5/21]

[nolitangere]

[…] I’ve never had my measurements taken. I have a large Express slim fit suit, I just pin the waist. Does that work?

And fine, right, okay, you’re the expert. I’m backing off.

You don’t have to justify Chinstrap Jeremy to me, no judgment here. Maybe a little. I didn’t know you liked basketball, though. […] If you’re a Rockets fan, we may have marital strife.

dm [early morning 5/21]

[philomathean]

You have to pin the waist of your slim fit suit? Okay, Dorito Boy. We hear you loud and clear.

No, sorry. I'm just sensitive about 'doing enough,' you know?

Oh? Am I going to have to track your moods based on your favorite teams' win-loss records? (I'm a Nuggets fan.)

dm [early morning 5/21]

[nolitangere]

That’s not what I meant. And now I’m definitely not going to share my measurements with you.

I know. […] But I think you’re doing enough. […] It’s kind of why we’re going to go through with all this.

And fortunately for you my mood is very stable because the Lakers are the greatest team of all time and they never lose! (The Nuggets are acceptable. Jokić is like a large beautiful son to me.)

dm [early morning 5/21]

[philomathean]

Hmm. I could probably guess.

Not to be sappy, but I couldn't do it without you.

I hate* to break it to you... the Lakers lost to the Nuggets last night.

*And by hate I mean love.

dm [early morning 5/21]

[nolitangere]

I’ll handle my suit. Because you have so much on your plate already. ✌️

Haha […] Do you remember when we made that weird "retvrn" eco-fascist delete their account? We work well together from time to time, I guess. And like I said, the statute of limitations is just 8 years so we only need to hold tight until […] 2031.

Early wedding present. Mood very stable. 🙂

dm [early morning 5/21]

[philomathean]

I suppose I do. Should we give everyone a few weeks to get used to us being together or do we just spring a wedding on them and gaslight them into thinking it’s normal?

Damn, we really went hard in the paint, didn’t we?

Last question, are we pet names people or no? I am but nobody here would know that about me, besides maybe Isaiah, so that doesn’t need to factor in.

dm [early morning 5/21]

[nolitangere]

Not sure. I know Crysta won't care and the new people who don't know us won't think it's odd, either. But your colleagues and [...] our high school classmates, that's who I'm worried about.

When I was Googling everything, I learned the statute of limitations for citizenship fraud is 10 years and theft of major artworks is 20. We're kind of mid tbh.

Technically speaking, haven't we been calling each other pet names for years? [...] Did you call Chinstrap Chinstrap or was he your Big Baller 💕

dm [early morning 5/21]

[philomathean]

Honestly, I'm really only worried about Isaiah. I don't think he'll be suspicious, necessarily, but he'll have a lot of questions. I'm going to send you an invite to a shared note so we can keep track of everything. I think you should propose to me soon. (Or I suppose I could propose to you, if you'd prefer.) That way we'll both remember the day.

Well, the statute will reset when if we do another one, so we could be calling each other pet names for a long, long time. [...] I WISH I'd had the guts to call Jeremy my Big Baller in front of everyone. A power move beyond high school Annie's wildest dreams.