philomathean | IC SPAM

All the shower arguments I’ve had were based on prior controversies, not invented ones, but alright. 💯🥇🤘😩

[…] What if I said I can do all that stuff to you, but you can’t do that to me? Is there a chance you’ll accept that or am I going to hear you laugh derisively and bang something on the floor in a few minutes?

And probably nothing physically bad to you. But all my usual defenses will be down and you might get to see inside my whole entire mind, which will probably be humiliating for me the next day.

Ha ha. [Annie does, indeed, stomp on the floor three times.]

You have no idea how badly that makes me want to touch you.

NOT in a horny way!!!

And I won't actually. I'm just curious! Oh my god.

Well, moving on.

I don't know, Annie. [...] I'm just going to be real with you, I think if you folded blankets on the couch that would turn me into Rodion Raskolnikov. Not the murder part but the consumed by guilt fever part. I'm not saying this is normal, just that it is what it is. I guess I can work on this too, but. Just being honest.

Also, there's genuinely nothing in here that you'd want to see. Or even to see. It's empty. You're not missing out on Jack's Fabulous Brain Secrets. There's a little moth in here circling a flickering lightbulb. And maybe the bones of the last, non-fascistic Minion.

(Thank you.)

Well, then I will just have to be your Razumikhin.

I hope you know that I'm not interested in rooting around for your most fucked up imp of the perverse highlight reel or anything. I just want to know if you can picture an apple in your mind.

Edited (from here on out, if you're reading this and you see an egregious dumdum dingdong typo. no you didn't. ) 2023-06-09 07:33 (UTC)

(Although now we’re on the topic, I did have a big problem with you saying I was objectively handsome. Basically you said I look boring.)

Lol. That’s such a you thing to say.

I can, for your information. Vividly. And now I’m doubly offended because you just called my thoughts boring, too.

Edited (HE’S BACK!!! HEEEEEERE’S JOHNNY!!!) 2023-06-09 07:38 (UTC)

(Do you want me list out some things about your body that I find unusual?)

That's me, ya boi Razzy 🤙

Okay, now you're just fishing.

(I was just pointing out I didn’t appreciate that. Don’t try to be nice now.)

I figured out how to deal with this. If I just do everything in the apartment and leave nothing for you, then it’s fine. Then I win.

Being thought of as weird is literally all I have going for me.

If you do that, I will start packing you lunches with little notes. And I will drop them off in front of all of your coworkers so that you have to eat them or everyone will think you are a massive brat.

Yeah, okay, Dr. Doritoboy Bugfucker Supermagic Healing Hands. I'm sure you're really hurting for social capital.

If I have any social capital, it’s only because people think you like me.

But fine. I’ll make like those bumper stickers and learn to coexist.

Yeah, that was the Bugfucker part. I accounted for that already. (But if you genuinely don’t like it when I compliment you in closed conversation, I can stop!)

Edited 2023-06-09 22:36 (UTC)

I don't know. Should we be allowed to compliment each other in closed conversations? I don't actually see a problem with that. Re: "objectively handsome," I've just thought a lot about aesthetics in general and my personal opinion is that anodyne shit sucks. My goal at all times is to provoke strong reactions, good or bad lmfao. (Kidding. Somewhat.)

Edited 2023-06-09 22:47 (UTC)

I'm not sure yet. I do actually see how it may become a problem. But idk, I'll let you know!

This is confusing because you dress like you're trying to hide out amongst the mannequins at GAP.

But if you saw how it could become a problem, why did you do it? I'll hold, though.

When it comes to clothing, my ethical considerations take precedence over my aesthetic considerations. Anyway, mostly I'm talking about provoking with physical characteristics, like facial expressions. That's what you do, right?

I know you may find this hard to believe, but I don't actually use game theory to make all of my decisions. Sometimes, I just say what I'm thinking.

Oh, lmao. My little faces really do provoke the shit out of you, don't they?

Well okay. Still holding.

Mhm. Are you making one right now? Send a pic.

[.....]

Damn bbgirl, you tryin to get incensed tonight, or...?

Boooooo. Do the face that makes me feel like you're about to pull a switch and send me down a trap door into a pit of alligators.

Kidding. Nice pic. Do you have a dating profile? This should go on it.

No. I can't let you possess it. Or it will lose its power. It only works because it's there and gone in a flash. Makes you question your sanity.

It was supposed to be funny, but thanks :/ I don't or I would send you the link. I was on Raya for a little bit but I deactivated after Zac Efron unmatched me for NO reason.

Edited 2023-06-10 02:47 (UTC)

I guess I can't argue with that.

Oh interesting. More data. Jeremy Hyslop and Zac Efron. I'm sensing white boys who can jump as a possible psychosexual theme for you, but it's too early to tell.

Yeah, don't plot Zac onto the scatter chart. I just asked him to issue a statement (nothing big! like a notes app insta story) about why we should all be wearing grippy socks indoors. I was being harassed pretty relentlessly about my grippy socks at that point. Anyway, guess he didn't like that!

He probably thought you were a foot fetishist. Are you? Or just fully locked and loaded re: grippy socks? Because I don't wear grippy socks in the house, just normal socks. But with rubber-soled slippers.

When was this, by the way? Who was harassing you on grippy socks??

No, I'm not especially into feet. (Although those diagrams about how neurons in the motor cortex and somatosensory cortex are grouped do compel me. Google 'brain foot connection,' if you don't know what I'm talking about.) I'm just appropriately wary of slips and falls. So, I am very happy to hear about your rubber-soled slippers. Great minds, you and I.

Maybe like... 2015? I know it was when I was traveling a lot for work. And it felt like everyone was harassing me! It's quite possible that my brother was putting people up to it, but I couldn't go a day without a 'what're thooooose???'

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